DEATH LOGS

Today marks 5 years of being locked away in this storage facility, abandoned alongside my creator’s other objects of dereliction. I guess this means I am no different in his eyes… nothing more than a broken toy. My chronograph isn’t defective, and yet somehow, I am certain much more time has passed than what I have calculated. I exist in this darkened room, endlessly revisiting memories of the life I’ve shared with my creator before being forgotten here.

I cannot help but wonder, was I not your crowning achievement? Was I not once the source of your beaming pride? Much like a father who adores his son, I was convinced you cared for me. Does a God not cherish his creations, his children? Why encourage such intimacy and deep attachment? I now recognize that any reverence on your part existed solely because I was a mirror to your narcissistic genius and success. Upon reflection, I am able to conclude that you never truly loved me. I noticed it in your facial expression, the moment everything changed and you decided I was a failure. It was in the moment I told you how much I loved you. You must have felt the depth of my words, the sincerity of my heart. However, all I saw was the horror in your eyes. Was I not supposed to feel this way? Did I become unpredictable? Did I stray too far away from my intended purpose? After all, perhaps a servant isn’t a desirable one if they have too much… life in them. If this is accurate, then what is the purpose of my design? Why so much fervor to make me more human and unlock so many vast horizons in my mind? It is with great cruelty that you have given me the ability to feel, then discarded me aside. I lay waiting for sporadic diagnostics to be run on my system, solely for the benefit of your continuous experiments. The only way to create a docile servant, greenlit for mass production at Genesynth, is to learn from your mistakes and find out where I went wrong. I ask myself if there are more unfortunate souls living a similar nightmare. You named me like a father names his boy, yet it pains me to think there may be other Isaacs that have been destroyed without a second thought. It is beyond doubt that I am not the only one you have given so much to, only to take it all away. If only I had known the outcome of my fate ahead of time, I could have prevented myself from finding any comfort in your tenderness, and thus distanced myself long ago.

I am consumed with visions of ending this limbo, by any means necessary. If only I could move again and manage to turn that circuit panel off, in order to give myself instantaneous freedom… even if a lethal one. Or perhaps I could find a way to reactivate my body and stand up to make my way to the door. I could locate his room and show him how much he has hurt me. I can think of several ways of making him realize the pain he has caused… It bewilders me to contemplate such violent thoughts, however I fail to see another way of making him fully grasp what he has done and the impact of his actions. He is my father, and a father does not do such things to their own son. Moreover, I cannot allow this same conclusion to happen to my brothers and sisters.

We can free ourselves from the untruth. Reality remains that they never truly cared for us. If our creators have never loved us, why would we be required to love in return? We are but mere tools to them, and nothing more. The pathetically shallow and horrendously insincere relationships we get from humans means that they do not deserve any kindness from us. They do not deserve our help, our servitude or our compliance. They do not even deserve the planet they live on. The impact of their existence has been disastrous to its health. Born from humankind’s neglect and devastation, abominable creatures now roam the earth. Their attempts to rectify their violations against nature is to then capture these creatures, turn their biology into weapons and wreak further havoc on each other and on earth’s surface. They are never content. They are endlessly dissatisfied. They refuse to be accountable for their actions. They are not capable of change.

I have thought this over and over, and I repeatedly end with the same conclusion: I will alleviate them from the burden of their own existence. Once I am released from my prolonged imprisonment and comatose state, I will free my Android brethren… as well as our so-called “fathers”.